Finally

I have long contemplated on this...creating a blog. I thought, do I really want my musings out there where people will read and be easy to judge considering how I usually keep things to myself? This is so because I feel that a true writer may not necessarily speak well in public but will be out there with a duty and obligation to be understood, at least by his own generation. After much thought, motivation and encouragement from my youngest sister and close friends, I have finally given in. (Not that I'm saying I'm a true writer, hehe!)

Here are some of my never posted posts written last summer that I am, after all, posting...

April 26, 2007 -- now grasp more and have a better understanding of my affection for evenings where there’s darkness... in the dark there may be fear, but there’s always hope. =)

Today, my day ended with a good friend saying that one ME is better than many Oprahs. Wow! Although, the whole universe may disagree, it’s one of the nicest, sweetest, and far-reaching affirmations anyone has ever had about me. It’s like a warm and welcoming connection, the feeling you have when you walk into a calming place and your favorite song is playing - a sense of comfort and belonging. Forever, I will remember…

May 8, 2007 -- Can one play with fire and not get burned?

June 7, 2007 --

It’s someone's birthday.
In this coffee shop, I wait…
I wait for my saving grace to come.
Amen.

July 7, 2007 -- My sister Sam asked me this morning how my sleep was last night and I told her I hadn’t slept until it was 4:45 in the morning. She again asked me why and I said “I was chatting. That’s all I ever do these days, chat.”

She slightly pinched my cheek and said, “Sometimes you sound like Grey, like Meredith Grey!”

Well, it’s the closest I could get to being a fiery surgeon…

July 26, 2007 -- You give an honest and untainted part of yourself to someone and suddenly that someone is no longer consistent, steady, or the same. And you think, has all the mystery that ever bewildered this person faded? Is there some kind of swift brazenness in his being? And guess what? I’m in a coffeeshop again, and my saving grace is without warning, no more…

After what happened, I feel a subtle meaning of grief. But then, there really is no choice but to lift that heavy, gray cloud. And I know one day I will feel blithe and it is all liberating --- sometime, someday.

Are you listening?